I cant wait for summer to be here. Although that just means that everything is getting closer to me graduating which Im still nervous about. Im really excited to though so i dont know. Well this summer should be a blast. I dont now what all i will be doing though. I know Ill be job hunting though. I might go back to richmond and work over the summer. But i dont know if i want to or not.
Well class is getting close to ending, and I dont feel like Im ready for the tests at all. My firefighter 1 class ends about a week after school does, but there are still people that havent taken all of the classes and all so we may end up having to postpone our test out date. There is definately a ton of stuff that i need to learn before Im ready to test out. Tonight I have to go to the burn building and Im a little nervous about that so we will just have to see how that goes.
Im sure i have said before that I sometimes question whether i am truely saved, but here recently i have began to realize that I am. Yes, I have issues and problems that i struggle with quite often, but having the struggles arent what determines my christian life. How I handle them is what determines that. I realize that there are things that I need to work on, and I am and have been asking God for help.
The best part is I can feel him helping… Im getting stronger and pushing harder against and away from the things i have trouble with.
So alot of information keeps on coming. We have a ton of stuff to learn and go over before the tests. In order for me to pass firefighter one, I have to pass a practicals test (where we actually tie knots and do phisical things), a live burn, and a written test. When we do our written test we will each have a different test no one in the room will have the same test. During the live burn we have to carry charged water hoses through the building to put out a controled fire that will be somewhere throughout a large building in Danville. The instructer told us the other day that of course we will be in full turnout gear and that the building will be more than likely completely filled with smoke.
Im really nervous about passing these tests. So if you could pray for God to help me to get the courage and strengh for these classes. Firefighting is something that i really love to do so far, and i just want to be out there helping as much as i can.
I like the new house we have now. My parents really arent that crazy about it though right now so we will see how it goes. The house needs a little work , but its really cute. It has two floors, 4 bedrooms, 1bath, a living room, and a really decent sized kitchen. Its an old house so alot could be worked on, but we arent planning on being at this house very long. We are actually in the process of building a house that my mom drew the plans for. We just dont know how quick we will be able to get it built. Hopefully sometime soon. My drive to school in the morning is almost an hour now. Thats really tiring!
Well, the class wed. night was really simple. all we did was go over a couple of things and then we just had a fire drill… And guess what I actually did it quick and almost completely right! the only thing that i did wrong was that i didnt pull my collar on my coat up far enough. Its actually taking me awhile to figure all that stuff out!
I lost someone this week that means alot to me, and i’m having a hard time right now trying to stay strong. Satan has been and still is pulling on me, and telling me things I dont want to believe. A whole bunch of questions have come up in my mind over the last few days, and one of the big ones is why would God take him? I just don’t understand why he had to go, but I guess I never will. God definately works in ways that we will never undrstand, but it’s so hard to believe and stay strong, when the only answers you can come up with doesn’t make since. One of my favorite memories with my friend was when Barry (thats him), Kim ( another friend of mine), and me were all riding together, and I can remember him sitting in the backseat inbetween us just joking around and laughing, like he always did. We had so much fun that day, just riding around, singing, and laughing. I can still here him singing some days.
I know that God had to have a reason for taking him when he did, but somehow right now I just cant understand why. All the questions and feeling Im getting are hard to push away. I just have to remember it was done by God.